Anonymous asked:

I'm sorry you're going through this. I sincerely hope you get to hear what you want to hear and it genuine at that. Be strong for yourself and for your son. Be happy, you deserve to be.

who are you? I always wonder if my anons are from the same person

thank you

All I wanted was for you to look at me and tell me that I did a good job. I told you this long before I went into labor. Nothing about my labor was anything like I expected. Yet, knowing that I would soon hear you say, “you did a great job,” pushed me through the pain. That hope was my main motivation; heck, maybe I would even get an “I’m so proud of you, hun.”

But you didn’t say anything like that until I forced some broken, almost-like-it statement out of you.

Now I’m here, alone, and you’re somewhere out in the ocean. You have the nerve to tell me how bored you’re going to be this deployment. Now I’m left with the thought, “is he not emailing me because he can’t, or because he is too bored, and anything else seems better than turning on the computer to send me something.”

I have not gone back to a 9-5 job, but I’m hitting the sheets at 9p.m. feeling like I’m returning from a 24hr. shift. I’m putting so much time, effort and strength into our son. Will you even notice it when you come home?

Will I finally be able to hear those words I crave? 

I wont hold my breath.